MOMENT OF GRACE

They wandered in the wilderness in a desolate way;
They found no city to dwell in.
Hungry and thirsty,Their soul fainted in them.
- Psalm 107:4-5

It was a moment of vulnerability. Coming from a 24 hour duty in the hospital, I was having a hard time because I got mixed up in some misunderstanding among the consultants. The effect was inevitable : I would turn out to be a liar, incompetent, and worse, negligent as a doctor. Which I actually could disprove, if only I was given a chance to redeem myself. (But then at this point, I'm not even sure if I wanted to do that anymore.). I received a lot of words from my consultants. And worse, I have this feeling that word was spreading around the entire institution! And feeling defenseless as any medical resident in the hospital I train in could feel, I found myself in groping for comfort.

Then they cried out to the LORD in their trouble,
And He delivered them out of their distresses. - Psalm 107:6

Then instantly, my phone got an SMS from cedar and she texted some verses in Psalm 107.
Even if I was making my morning rounds, I almost cried.

And He led them forth by the right way,
That they might go to a city for a dwelling place.
Oh, that men would give thanks to the LORD for His goodness,
And for His wonderful works to the children of men!
For He satisfies the longing soul,
And fills the hungry soul with goodness. - Psalm 107:7-9

How good could the Lord be to have instantly provided His word for me?
He's always at the right time.

The experience was humbling indeed, but the Lord's mercy overflowed so much, it melted the pride in my heart away. It was probably the pride of maintaining a reputation. Of all the people in the world, I realized that it was Jesus who was misunderstood the most. And He made Himself a man of no reputation :

[Christ] made Himself of no reputation, taking the form of a bondservant, and coming in the likeness of men. And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself and became obedient to the point of death, even the death of the cross. - Philippians 2:7-8

For who is he who has a reputation to protect but a man that lack meekness in his heart?

Thank You Lord, for the breaking of the heart. And for the chance to live as You have lived. It gives me a deeper appreciation of what You have done for me. And more than that, it allows me to know You more experientally. Amen.